Captivated

I recently turned 27 this past May 7th. As always, the day goes past like any other. Nothing momentous ever happens on that day for me. I merely relax and stay to myself, like usual. I feel there are many other days of my life far more important that are worth celebrating more than my day of birth. I don't sense the urge to bring up those times right now, being that I'm too focused on my current feelings.
I've been feeling like I've been in a slump lately, not being very social, rarely getting out of my truck. I feel like a teenager, going through another growth spurt. I don't have much need for contact; Don't want it, truth be told. I spend much time in seclusion, trying to find the purpose of...oh, who knows. I then try to figure out what I want to do with my life...that's even more mind boggling. Ok, so know I focus on my strengths, hoping maybe then I can come to some kind of road to go down that looks promising. Still don't see it. What the heck is going on with me?

Then boom, one conversation with a great motivational force in my life, I begin to think clearly. As much as I enjoy associating with people, I spend much time by myself. I actually prefer being alone much of the time. I keep a small circle, and without intentionally meaning to, I keep it that way. I limit my association with those I don't know. I only let the relationship go as far as the time we are around each other permits. Out of that, I realized how self sufficient I am. When all else fails, I always know that I can take care if myself in all aspects. It is that thought that keeps me energized everyday out on this road everyday. It is that same quality that supported me throughout the loss of some very significant relationships.

With that said, I now recognize that I didn't just become this way, but that I just realized it. As I child, while my mother was providing a living for us, I was left with the task to keep myself entertained, either by reading adventurous books, building small worlds with my lego's, collecting pretty much everything under the sun and keeping it all in order, or whatever captivated me until my mom came home. My mother is also a great source of imagination, often laying out a blanket in the middle of the living room for a picnic. I guess it was all of those things that help create the man I am today.