Expectations

There's no other way to put it: I do not fulfill peoples expectations of me. I'm not sure if I ever have. I often wonder if people know that I'm not confident in myself all of the time. I am fully aware of my weaknesses, and they often send me into deep bouts of depression, for reasons I am not clear of. But they do effect me. That is a large reason why I stray away from being the center of anything. I have failed in many parts of my life, leaving me with not much to relieve my anguish. So many things around me that I held so very dear has disappeared, so much to the point that I blame myself for it because it seems to never end. I've grown afraid to make any major moves. I know I shouldn't right now. I have still much to sort out, to understand.